It was with both apprehension and excitement that I signed up to run the Goggins 4x4x48 challenge which sees participants run four miles (6.4K) every four hours for 48 hours for a total of 77 km. This challenge tests runners both physically and mentally and was created by David Goggins, a famous American ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, triathlete, motivational speaker, and author.
There was no entry fee for this event, but organizers encouraged us to raise at least $250 for the Maddie Project in association with North York General Hospital. The Maddie Project was founded with a mission that no other youth or their family should suffer through depression or mental health concerns without help and provides uninhibited access to support for youth and their families.
Toronto resident Michael Neale created The Maddie Project 4x4x48 event, which he says “ties into COVID pretty well.” Mental health has always been a necessary topic of conversation, but quarantine and lockdowns have made it even more important in recent months as many people are struggling in these trying times. As for choosing the Goggins Challenge, Neale says it fit perfectly with a fundraiser for youth mental health.
Neale usually runs an ultramarathon every year to raise money for the Maddie Project, but due to the pandemic all races were cancelled. Rather than throw in the towel, Neale decided to get a few people together and created the “Push Your Limits” event where people signed up to run the Goggins 4x4x48. He was hoping to raise around $12,000 for the cause, but soon blew that estimate out the water. A few people became almost 200 people and $12,000 became more like $100,000.
This was by far the toughest run challenge I have undertaken, but it was the perfect opportunity to get uncomfortable, suffer and learn lots about myself in the process. The challenge started on Friday March 5th at 8 pm, and finished with the last run on Sunday March 7th at 4 pm. Knowing that you have to run 6.4 km every four hours can get to you mentally. For 48 hours you have this constant nagging that you have to go out again. Having to deal with the lack of sleep—only just falling asleep to hearing your alarm clock screech moments later—can be frustrating. If anything was going to break me, this would be it. The other challenge was figuring out what foods to eat that will have enough calories, but are easily digestible.
I set up my headquarters for the event in the basement which is also where the treadmill is. For the next 48 hours I would sleep there, run there and get ready for each run event there. I tuned and cleaned the treadmill, making sure it was in good working order; I purchased an air mattress to sleep on and earlier on Friday I set it up and brought down everything I would possibly need; I had several kits folded and ready; my headphones, watch and phone charged and ready to go; I had 6 water bottles filled and in the fridge; I had snacks made and ready to eat; I had my charts and notebook and checklists that I could write in as soon as the run was finished and; I had any pain medicine and topical creams nearby just-in-case.
Because I had to teach piano until 8:15 pm I would have to start the first run a little late. I dressed in my running clothes under my normal clothes so that I didn’t have to worry about changing. We had opening ceremonies at 6pm via zoom which I participated in during my dinner break and I listened to the many presenters tell their story.
Run #1 Friday March 5th at 8pm
As soon as I said good bye to my last virtual piano student I stripped off my outer clothes, grabbed my water bottle and got on the treadmill to start my first run of the challenge. In advance I had prepared 12 music playlists of various composers and styles of music so that I would always have something to listen to and not have to waste time looking for music to play. I also had some race documentaries at hand in case I got sick of listening to music.
I was not used to running at the end of the day and was feeling a little sleepy, but once I got moving the tiredness fell away. Listening to music helps get me moving, especially when on a treadmill when there’s no interesting scenery to look at, so I put on John Adam’s Hallelujah Junction and The Chairman Dances. Ever since I was a young child I couldn’t resist getting up and dancing when music was playing. I can’t dance now, but running is the next best thing.
Hallelujah Junction is one of my favourite pieces. It’s a three-movement composition for two pianos, with a constant shift of pulse and metre which helped spur me on. Next, I listened to The Chairman Dances, a 13 minute piece for orchestra. What I like about longer pieces is they give you a chance to really get in a zone. In this piece there is a layering of instruments which creates a pulsating texture and the tuned percussion not only add colour, but relentless off-beat rhythms and syncopated parts. It’s an energetic piece of music that you can’t help but move to.
The run went by quickly and before I knew it, I was done. I get incredibly sweaty when I run, especially on the treadmill, so I had a quick shower before joining Trish in front of the TV. For the next hour we enjoyed each other’s company, watching our shows before having to part ways. It was very strange heading down to the basement while Trish went up to our bedroom. I would miss her, but sleeping separately made the most sense as I had to get up too many times in the night and I would only keep her awake. Plus there was a very great chance of sleeping through the alarm if I was too comfortable.
There was no point in trying to sleep before my next run at midnight, so I had a snack and passed the time reading the book, “Hell on Two Wheels,” by Amy Snyder who follows a group of cyclists before, during and after the 2009 RAAM. Race Across America (RAAM) is the 3000-mile race where once the gun goes off, the clock doesn’t stop and the first rider to complete the route is the victor. It’s a thrilling and remarkable account of what competitors will put themselves through to finish the race. It makes my challenge seem like kindergarten finger-painting.
Run #2 Saturday March 6th at 12 am
The treadmill is in the part of the basement that hasn’t been finished and it’s rather grim. It’s especially freaky in the middle of the night when everything is dark and still, making my imagination go wild. I think of all kinds of creepy, scary things that could happen that seem silly in the daytime, but hugely possible at night. It’s not the most pleasant place to be: The single light that dangles from the ceiling no longer works so I bought a work light and hung it near the treadmill to give some light to this gloomy place. There is a hole in the wall by the treadmill which serves as a crawl space under the main floor bathroom and every once in a while I could feel a cool breeze blowing on my skin. The ceiling has exposed wires and pipes winding and weaving throughout the ceiling joists and the air ducts make the odd rattling when the furnace kicks on. There are 2 curtainless windows that was my only view of the outside world and I tried not to think what I would do if I saw a pair of feet walk by. And with such a low ceiling my head sat perfectly between the ceiling joists and I had to be careful not to shift to the right or I would bang into the water pipes.
It seemed fitting that my playlist featured music that used the Dies Irae Gregorian chant associated with the Mass for the Dead. I started with Liszt’s piano concerto, Totendanz (dance of death) which features 6 variations based on the Dies Irae melody. I wasn’t sure whether the changes in tempo and rhythmic variances would mess with my pace, but it worked out ok. The intensity of this piece kept me propelling forward. I followed with Dance Macabre (dance of death) written by Saint-Saens and transcribed into piano by death-obsessed Liszt. It used the Dies Irae melody as well as tritones, an interval which was known as the devils’ chord in the Middle Ages and was forbidden from being used. The piece to finish my run was the 5th movement of Berlioz’s Symphony Fantastic that uses the Dies Irae melody beautifully and is said to have inspired Liszt to write Totendanz.
My average pace was even faster than the first which surprised me. I knew I shouldn’t push myself too hard in the early runs as I still had to get through 10 more runs with very little sleep, but so far it seemed easy. Having no experience with this challenge meant I really had no idea how my body would deal with it, but so far I was having fun and feeling good and I would adjust my pace as needed in the future.
I didn’t shower after my run as I didn’t want to waste precious time that could be used for sleeping. Instead, I toweled off, washed my face and blow-dried my hair so I wouldn’t freeze to death trying to sleep with wet hair.
Run #3 Saturday March 6th at 4am
At 3:45 my alarm startled me out of a deep sleep. It was still dark outside and I resisted the urge to hit the snooze button, roll over and go back to sleep. Instead I sat up, turned the light on, and mindlessly dressed before giving myself a chance to change my mind.
By 4 am I was back on the treadmill, trying to stay upright while Beethoven kept me company for my 6.5 km run. I didn’t sleep well as I was cold. I forgot how cold air mattresses were and even lying on a sleeping bag wasn’t enough to keep the cold air from seeping into my body. I had numerous blankets and even a heating pad, but I still shivered for the 2 hours I tried to sleep.
As a result, my legs felt heavy and my breathing was laboured. I had to stop and walk a couple of times, but I kept the walk breaks to a minimum as the sooner I got the run done, the sooner I could get some much-needed shut-eye.
I started off listening to Beethoven’s Appassionata Sonata, one of his most stormy sonatas. He wrote it at a time when his hearing was deteriorating most rapidly and consists of crashing chords, unexpected pauses and shockingly violent outbursts—perfect to get me moving.
Next I listened to the Waldstein Sonata. The first movement mimics a pleasant yet noisy and roaring day. The second movement can be interpreted as a calm night, but it was too calm to be honest so I skipped over this movement. The third movement features a beautiful melody played in the treble at first in single notes, and then later in octaves above an arpeggiated bass line that returns over and over again (as will happen in a rondo), giving a promise of hope to a new day.
Again I didn’t want to waste precious sleep time by showering, so I just towel dried myself, wiped off the sweat and blow-dried my hair. I had a little snack and drank some more water with electrolytes mixed in. My head hit the pillow by 5:15 am.
Run #4 Saturday March 6th at 8 am
At 7:30 am I heard Cilla’s little footprints pitter-patter across the kitchen floor above me as she got her breakfast. Miss independent is this one. I got dressed and headed upstairs to say good morning and feed the cats. I could have run outside but I wanted to let Trish sleep in, so it was back on the treadmill for my 4th run of the challenge. I was feeling a little nauseous and headachy and it was a bit of a slog. To put some pep in my step, I listened to the music of PJ Harvey, Jess Glynne, Goldfrapp, Florence and the Machine, and Ellie Goulding, 5 very powerful UK performers.
Cilla came downstairs to keep me company and took some pictures while I was running. She played with her toys in the other room and periodically peeked her head around the corner to ask if I was done yet. When I was finally done I wrote my notes and logged my runs on Strava. It’s an app I don’t usually use since I log my runs on Garmin and Map my Run, but we were all asked to log our runs on Strava as a way to stay connected to one another. It was really motivating during the night to see how the other runners were doing and to comment or just give kudos to them. This challenge can be quite lonely, so it was a nice way to remember that we aren’t alone in this—there were others crazy enough to participate in this event!
Afterwards I enjoyed a much-needed hot shower before putting on more running clothes. I could smell coffee brewing and Trish had one ready for me and we chilled out together while I told her about my night. When I finished my coffee I had a yoghurt with some fruit.
I washed my kit from the night and hung it up to dry hoping it would be dry by my 8 pm run when I will need my shorts the next time.
Run #5 Saturday March 6th at 12 pm
I finally got outside! It was nice to be out of my prison cell and running where my effort was rewarded by actually getting someplace. I ran a 6.5 kilometre loop on nearby neighbourhood streets—a route that I knew was the correct distance I needed to go, so I didn’t have to think about it. It was a tough slog though and I felt like I had a hangover from a night of partying. Trish didn’t sleep well either and was nursing her own hangover. It was cold outside at -11c and the winds were really strong. The sun was nowhere to be found and it was just a grey, miserable-looking day. For motivation I listened to an 80’s mix including, “Let’s Go Crazy,” “Maniac” and “Bad Reputation”. You can see the theme. At one point in my run, I think I passed another Goggin’s runner and we smiled and waved to each other. That gave me a bit of a boost in my step. It was nice to see other people out running and enjoying themselves and it can make you feel less isolated.
While I was feeling tired, I wasn’t sore or achy. After each of my runs I had been applying Voltaren Emulgel as a precaution to prevent my muscles from cramping. By the end of all 12 runs, I will have used the whole tube. It was hard to say whether it actually works or not, but it didn’t hurt to try. I also did some foam rolling.
With each run my pace was getting slower. I was hoping my afternoon runs would be slightly faster than my night runs, but that was not the case. The strong 40 kilometres head winds didn’t help as I had to use more effort to maintain my pace. Plus the lack of sleep from the night starts to wear on you as the day progresses.
When I got back I wrote my notes, showered and made soup for Cilla and me while Trish was busy doing some housework. After lunch I helped Cilla with her art project made out of recycled materials. She was making a dragon out of egg cartons, toilet paper rolls and ribbon. She spent a lot of time today just painting the pieces.
Run #6 Saturday March 6th at 4pm
4 pm came rather quickly and before I knew it I was once more on the street, pounding the pavement. Halfway there!!! Only another 24 hours of running! I cranked the tunes and Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Bloody Valentine by Machine Gun Kelly, Holiday by Green Day, Wake Me Up by Avicii, and Ramalama (Bang Bang) by Róisin Murphy played through my headphones.
It was a little warmer at -6c, but it was still sunless with really strong winds. My head was fuzzy and I was feeling very tired, but my body was still holding up. I didn’t check my watch for my pace as I ran, I just moved at a comfortable speed, but when I checked my stats after the run I noticed my average pace was the exact same as my previous run.
Life is so simple when you run. Just put one foot in front of the other. Hungry? Eat a gel. Thirsty? Drink some water. Tired? Slow down. Running takes all of life’s complexities and dwindles them down to the simplest skills of survival.
Soon after I got back Trish ordered pizza for dinner and I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I smelled it. I had to stop after the second piece as I was worried I would get indigestion on my next run.
Run #7 Saturday March 6th at 8 pm
I returned to my dungeon for the next four runs. These upcoming runs were the hardest mentally as I was extremely sleep deprived and fighting fatigue.
Shortly into my run a racoon darted by my window, which at first I mistook for a cat, but then I saw it’s big, bushy tail. He lives in our big maple tree in the backyard and he was most likely off to find food. Unlike most Torontonians, I actually like raccoons.
This run was tough and I had a hard time settling in. At one point my heart rate climbed to 196 beats per minutes and I had to slow down for it to lower to a reasonable number. Food wasn’t digesting quickly enough between runs which was adding to my discomfort and I was fighting acid reflux, heartburn, and cramping.
I started off listening to Steve Reich’s Music For 18 Musicians, but I just couldn’t relax into it, so I switched to Philip Glass’ Glassworks. Glassworks is all about patterning, sometimes with simple harmonies, sometimes with swirling, repetitive melodies, sometimes lyrical and sometimes quite aggressive, but always mesmerizing and hypnotic. I remember when I first listened to this in the WLU library—I was sent by my music composition teacher—and I remember never hearing anything quite like it before and I went out and bought the CD.
The music did the trick and I was able to get into a more comfortable pace and run the rest of the distance without having to stop.
I once again had a shower before joining Trish on the couch to watch our shows. I was wearing my running clothes under my pyjamas which Trish thought was pretty funny. At 10:30 we parted ways once more and I was back downstairs preparing for my night runs. To pass time I read more of the book “Hell on Two Wheels,” by Amy Snyder.
Run #8 Sunday March 7th at 12 am
I was getting a little tired of listening to music on my runs, so I downloaded the movie Finding Traction the inspirational story of ultra-runner Nikki Kimball and her quest to become the fastest person in history to run America's oldest hiking trail, the 273-mile Long Trail. I can’t even imagine running 273 kilometres, never mind miles. Most people take weeks to hike this trail, but she was going to run it in 4 days.
Throughout the film, Nikki's crew and support team provided an intimate portrayal of the courage, grit and passion behind her record attempt. It also included interviews with the world's leading evolutionary biologists, including Bernd Heinrich, author of "Why We Run," which shed light on the science and psychology behind Nikki's incredible race against time. For Nikki, this well-publicized run was more than a chance to inspire people to be active and spend time outdoors; it was her way of encouraging women and girls to take an equal place for themselves in professional sports.
There’s nothing more motivating than watching someone else suffer and fight through a difficult challenge, although sometimes it was hard to watch how much pain she was in. The determination and will to keep moving even through immense suffering was incredible.
My run in comparison seemed like a walk in the park. I didn’t have mountains to hike or rivers to ford or shrubs to bash my way through, I just had 6.4 kilometres to run on the treadmill. But since this was my 8th run (equalling 51 kilometres so far) on very little sleep, I was getting tired. At the top of each kilometre I gave myself a short walking break which seemed to help.
Run # 9 Sunday March 7th at 4 am
I managed to get 2 hours of quality sleep and I felt much better when I woke up. I decided to forgo the music again for this run and watched part of the documentary, Unbreakable: The Western States 100. Unbreakable tells the story of two-time defending champion Hal Koerner, undefeated 100-miler Geoff Roes, Anton Krupicka (who at the time won every ultramarathon he started), and a young Kilian Jornet. The film follows the four, with appearances from many other trail running legends, in their lead-up and race from Squaw Valley to Auburn.
Between lack of sleep and the way the film was shot, there were times when I was watching that the basement faded away, along with the treadmill and the darkness of the night and I was there, on the trail in the wilderness in the bright sunshine, going toe-to –toe with the other racers. It was quite the adventure running up valleys, through ice-cold water, through canyons and slipping and sliding on icy-snow. It all came to a halt when one of the runners directly in front of me stopped and I panicked, (while still running on the treadmill) thinking I was going to run into him. This of course jolted me back to reality. That’s as close to running with the elites that I will ever get, but it was nice while it lasted.
In advance of doing this challenge, I prepared a check-list to go through after completing each run. It seems silly that I would forget to drink or eat, or shower, but it’s amazing what you can forget when getting very little sleep. So before I got to lay my head on my pillow for some much needed sleep, I went through my checklist.
Checklist
Run # 10 Sunday March 7th at 8 am
When I went to put my sock on my left foot I discovered a huge blister around 2 inches long. It started hurting on my last run, but didn’t think much about it. (I’m really good at ignoring little niggles) It was causing some pain when putting my weight on it so I had to lance and drain it before I could run. I took a needle out of my sewing kit and rubbed it with alcohol, then I carefully pierced the blister and let all the fluid drain out. I had to make a couple holes since the blister was so large. Once the fluid was gone, it was much more comfortable. I cleaned the area, and then put my sock on.
To try to get through the run I watched more of the Unbreakable documentary. Cilla also came downstairs and kept me company by ‘making’ me food. She mixed up a bunch of different play things, called it pasta and gave it to me to eat while I was on the treadmill.
After writing my notes, entering my stats on Strava and showering I had my coffee. I was really hungry and had a slice of pizza. I was hoping it wouldn’t come back to haunt me, but that’s what my body was craving, so I went with it. Cilla and I spent the rest of the morning putting a couple puzzles together.
Run # 11 Sunday March 7th at 12 pm
As I was nearing the end of this challenge, I was actually doing quite well in terms of pain—my legs, while not feeling fresh, felt good. No aches or pains. A little stiffness, but that resolved itself as soon as I got moving. My arthritis in my SI joints, back and neck were also very manageable in terms of pain. The issue that I dealt with however was indigestion. Usually when I do long runs—half marathons and marathons, I get all my calories and energy from GU gels, which are a liquid form of carbs and I find them fairly easy to digest. But 48 hours is a long time to be on a liquid diet, so I basically ate whatever my body was craving. The only problem was I couldn’t fully digest the food before my next run and as consequence I felt like I was going to throw up throughout the entire run, and had to stop periodically and walk until the feeling passed. It was frustrating to say the least.
After getting back from my run and eating lunch, I helped Cilla finish her dragon. She put on the finishing details while I used the hot-glue gun to glue it all together. It turned out great.
Run #12 Sunday March 7th at 4 pm
At 4:40 PM I was officially finished the challenge! 6.4 km every 4 hours for 48 hours for a total of 77.58 kilometres. This was by far the hardest running challenge I have done so far. Having to wake up the middle of the night after only a couple hours of sleep to get on the treadmill was a daunting aspect and only one of the many head games I had to overcome throughout the process. Having support of other runners, friends, family and people on social media definitely helped keep me motivated and continue to push through the difficult times. Also, getting out of my comfort zone really made me appreciate the small things—like sleeping in my own bed!
One of the many positive things about this challenge was the ability to run 77.58 kilometres in 2 days, with little risk of injury. Even though I may have run close to 2 marathons in 2 days, the few hours of recovery in between the runs allowed my body to rest, but I still gained the physical benefits.
The most positive benefit to running this challenge was the money our team of 199 runners from 9 different countries were able to raise for the Maddie Project and North York General Hospital. I am very proud to say that collectively we have raised over $110,000 to support the upgrade and refurbishing of the Paediatric Mental Health Inpatient Unit at North York General Hospital. Funds raised will help their fragile paediatric population feel safe, supported, valued and confident in the care they receive at NYGH.
I am very thankful to have been able to participate in such a tough challenge and to have a family who supports me in my crazy endeavours. Completing the 4x4x48 has been a great accomplishment and it just goes to show that you can do anything you put your mind to if you Push Your Limit.
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